By Jerome Ogola
Business at the Homabay County Assembly came to a standstill, when the speaker declared that all MCAs leave the chamber, for a breadth of fresh air, outside
This happened after one MCA released dangerous gases into the air, from his own exhaust pipe, choking the entire chamber with the strong pungent
Though fingers pointed at one particular MCA, it was difficult to immediately establish who was culpable as the fart wasn’t that loud one, associated with men, that of an overloaded donkey, one whose originator can be easy to establish, going by the direction the sound came
This was that hissing one, that which one hisses from the USB port, like a cobra, the silent one, associated with gender made from a stolen rib, and such come with devastating consequences
This can can even choke one to death, the very reason some tribes like the Kalenjin don’t share a bed with their women because such gases are also thought to degrade one’s reasoning
It is only during an AFCON match that, that a Kalenjin shares a bed with the spouse
Back to the yarn, it is absurd that these guys can afford to break the wind. Most Kenyans are to poor to afford the same
A similar fart from a typical Kenyan may not be noticeable because Kenyans go hungry and if you have eaten nothing, the stomach is a vacuum, and chances are that you only release pure and undiluted oxygen for a fart
It’s not been long since an MP from Nyanza did the same in a Kisumu bound plane
I advised that next time a pig from any of the assemblies, breathes from the other end, don’t just sit and watch, wrestle him to the ground and use a maize cob to cork the responsible orifice
If someone was to seek my opinion, from my experience and expertise as a seasoned sleuth in this slum of Mukuru Kwa Zuckerberg, the MCA responsible for the deadly gas attack, must be Central Karachunyo MCA, Julius Gaya, because he is the one who reacted most vigorously
In other news, I hear a man from Lumino, near hear, attempted to give his twin brother a free throat surgery, over a land dispute and in self defence the attacked brother, also armed with a sharp machete, offered the assailant a free brain surgery
As we speak, their bodies are booked in the coldest place in Eldoret, the MTRH mortuary
May Wanyonyi rest their souls in eternal peace, Amen
Great afternoon my fellow Southerners