By Comrade Albert Nyakundi Amenya
I have generated an interesting imaginative conversation of Obama and Uhuru at State House when they met. Read carefully and see how Uhuru put off Obama.
Kenyatta: Welcome, to State House Mr. President. You came with the entire American Security; I guess you don’t believe what your media say, that we are the hotbed of Terror; I really admire that Secret Service Agent lady who stood beside The Beast for Goodness’s sake, does she laugh? I hope you’ve come with American top entrepreneurs of strategic sectors to seek long lasting trade and investment between our two countries. We are worried Mr. President that our currency, the Shilling, is worryingly depreciating fast in relation to the US dollar. When my father took over presidency 52 years ago, Sh5 could buy $6. Now almost Sh105 buys $1. This is totally unacceptable, Mr. President.
Obama: No, I love Kenya and I believe Kenya is safer although I cannot hide my dissatisfaction over your country’s steady decline in its economy and its previous leadership. I’ve come to Nairobi not only to make history as the first Kenyan-American President, but also because I’ve a lot of confidence in your style of leadership of this black nation. Nelson Mandela was supposed to redeem the image of the Black man; unfortunately, he hadn’t much time. You are 24 or 25 years younger than Mandela was in 1994. So I expect you to work more than Mandela for your remaining 7 years as President. As you know, I am leaving White House in less than 17 months and wouldn’t be around to assist you all the way. So what can I do for you at the moment?
Kenyatta: A lot, Mr. President. First, we want the US to cancel those preposterous travel advisories imposed on us and ease the process of US visa acquirement. Your embassy makes it look as if it is a ticket to heaven. Second, we want you to help us tackle Al Shabaab by providing intelligence. Thank you for the $1 billion you brought in new investments. We would have asked for more, but the assistance we need is greater in the in the area of information that could enable us to track and stop terrorists’ sources of funding. Third, we want you to help us recover over $400billion that greedy Kenyans have plundered from our treasury over the past 52 years and stashed in your banks and European banks…..
Obama: Ah! Mr. President, you don’t expect me to run your country for you. I am interested in seeing Kenya grow, but not at the expense of America. Just like you, I am also a black man. I’ve risen to this height because this is America: Some people dreamt dreams, burnt the midnight oil thinking, toiled day and night to make America great. Do likewise here in your country: hunt for talent, encourage your geniuses to thrive, invent things and America will help you to market them to the world. We stopped importing your flowers because we were seriously pursuing fracking technology. You have the best brains in the world but you don’t allow them to blossom. That’s why the best of your brains are back in my country – we’re using them to develop our country, to make the digital things you import, the cars, the airplanes, the iPads. Today, we’re marking the 46th anniversary of putting a man on the moon.
……as to intelligence, you don’t expect us to know your country better than you do. What are all the agencies you’ve set up meant to do, the National Intelligence Service (NIS), National Security Council (NSC) which you personally chair, among the rest? Receive salaries? OK, let’s train them – the $1billion I came with will go into their training back in the United States. When they return, they should be able to track the looted funds as well as the sources of terrorism funding.
Kenyatta:I understand all you’ve said, Mr. President. Concerning the issue of taking your money back, let us leave it at that. What about the goddamn travel advisories and the tedious process of getting your visa, are you going to do something? Remember this is the land where your father was born and bred.
Obama: I love Kenya and would love to help Kenya as much as I can before I retire. I also countenance that it is the home country of my father. But US can only grant some wishes when things when and where conditions are right. I’ll grant you all that when terrorism has been defeated, when it is safe to invest in Kenya – when white people are no longer kidnapped for ransom. And I must add this: when you’ve given gays their Human Rights….
Uhuru Cuts Obama short:
Kenyatta: Hold it right there Mr. President, the last request is a no-go zone Mr. President. Led by their constitution, the Kenyan people have spoken with one voice against same sex marriage. In fact, that is why my deputy William Ruto aka the hustler is not here in this meeting because he feared you could bring the topic up. That your country tolerates this evil doesen’t make it right. Gays here in my country are lucky that I have not been in power long enough to put them in their position. In fact, I’ll personally prescribe the death penalty for any man caught screwing another man from the sewage….
Obama: I am the POTUS remember mine is a land where freedom is guaranteed to all humans. President, watch your words. All men are equal gays are human beings and they deserve all the basic rights enjoyed by the non-gays like you and me.
Kenyatta: Take it easy Mr. President. Here in Kenya, we are not convinced that gays are our fellow human beings. In fact, people say they don’t even deserve Animal Rights. They may be even lower than animals – at least, animals don’t mate with members of the same sex. these people are more than devil worshipers Mr. POTUS. Pardon my ignorance Mr. President, have you accepted Mugabe’s proposal to marry you? Would you let your two beautiful girls get hitched to gays?
Obama Looks lost and changes the topic
Oh! Mr. President, you asked me about that female Secret Service Agent… I don’t know her too. That is why she is Secret Service Agent….